There’s an image that gives me the creeps — that feeling you get when you think something’s crawling on you, or a torturous itch you can’t scratch. It’s the mental image of myself standing in the same spot, holding a ball and chain much like the one used in the hammer throw, using centrifugal force to keep the ball and chain in the air, circling on its own orbit. I feel stuck, unable to get out of position for fear of disrupting the circular path, therefore forced to actively keep spinning without leaving the exact same spot.
Yes, you have permission. You’ve always had permission. Our whole lives, social constructs and institutions put so much pressure on us to get life right the first time around. And when we don’t get it right—as humans are prone to mistakes and bad judgment—we know in our heads that we have the choice to course-correct, but most people don’t dare. And when we do dare, we go through this whole internal crisis.
It’s Monday, another week in Covid-19 home isolation, and frankly, it feels just like yesterday and will probably feel the same as tomorrow. Who knew ‘Manic Mondays’ or the ‘Monday Blues’ could feel a tad outdated and trigger a slight bit of nostalgia.
So are you going through a rupture in life? Divorce? Job loss? Serious health condition? I echo what Gabriel Bernstein said: Congratulations. You’ve been given a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to change your life any way you want, to dream again, to grab all the new possibilities that this rupture brings. I congratulate myself, too.
The more high-achieving you are, the higher the chances you’re experiencing this. You are not alone.